December 22, 2010

Happy Holidays!

Speechless. Overjoyed. Moved beyond belief. Amazed.

Those are just a few of the words to describe the way we are feeling at The Family Effect this week. And it’s all because of a little Facebook post.

Just two weeks ago we were fretting about how to provide the children and mothers at Serenity Place with a good Christmas. We didn’t have anyone on the docket to provide gifts for our residents. We reached out through Facebook asking if anybody could provide anything to make their Christmas great, and the response has been overwhelming!

It’s likely that our clients are going to have the best Christmas ever. Our children at Serenity Place are all receiving beautiful stockings, toys galore, new winter coats, and lots of clothes to keep them warm. Our mom’s are all receiving gift cards, and new comforters for their rooms. They are even getting their own special visit from Santa Claus!

We are so fortunate to live in a community that truly values families. Thanks for everyone’s generosity and contribution to our mission especially at this time of year. The gifts and presence of our community is sure to make this holiday a special one, especially as many of our residents can’t spend the special day with their families.

A special thank you to Dabo and Kathleen Swinney and the All-In Team Foundation, Lisa Seal, Turner Padget Graham and Laney, Lisa Dantzler and the Rose Hammond Circle at Advent United Methodist Church, Five Forks Baptist Church, Teri McCord and Nancy Jaramillo, and Michael and Melanie Fee!

November 24, 2010

Giving Thanks

This morning we celebrated the sixteenth graduation from the Academy, our residential treatment program for teenage boys. It’s hard to believe that since our opening in May, we’ve had sixteen young men successfully complete the program. There are several traditions that have already developed during the graduation ceremonies at the Academy: a gift is passed around and each peer, counselor, and visitor has a chance to offer words of encouragement or wisdom to the graduate; we mingle and sign a shirt for the graduate to take with them; we form a line reminiscent of Soul Train and sing to the boy as he exits; and finally we strike a singing bowl one time for each graduate who has passed before. Today there were sixteen chimes. As time progresses and more and more adolescents successfully complete the program, we all wonder if this tradition will continue when we are up to 200 chimes.

Thanksgiving, and subsequently the end of the year, often elicits contemplation and gratitude, and even practicing traditions of our own. As I sat with our group of sixteen teenage boys this morning, in what was the funniest graduation thus far, I couldn’t help but slip into this mindset myself. Every time I visit the Academy, or Serenity Place, I become even more attached to the people we serve. I’m blessed that my job allows me to build relationships with amazing people and be part of this chapter of their lives. Yesterday, I spent the day in the infant room at Serenity Place feeding and rocking babies and watching the mothers come pick up their children at the day’s end. It’s amazing and exciting to see growth in them as individuals, but especially as mothers. This morning, I laughed and danced with the guys at the Academy, made up a secret handshake with one of them, got asked by one enthusiastic teen to help him start a garden at his own house when he graduates, and had guys promise they’d knit me a hat and scarf... all before 10 am.

Sounds super fun, right? It is. Oh my gosh, it is. However, my gratefulness isn’t void of complexity. I struggle with the fact that I meet these beautiful people only because they have been battling serious addiction and other hardships. I hate that this is such a prevalent problem in our community. I cherish my time with the moms, kids, and teens at our facilities and I grow really attached to them. Sometimes I even forget why they are here in the first place; I have to remind myself that we aren’t at summer camp, but in fact at a residential treatment facility. I forget that some of our teenage boys were introduced to drugs or alcohol at the age of 7, and I forget that some have been neglected or abused. They seem like such happy, normal teenage boys. They play football, they crochet (maybe not so normal for teenage boys, but it’s a great therapeutic activity for them), they go on field trips, they know all the latest hip hop sings, they are turned off by vegetables, etc.

Watching them graduate is so bittersweet. Of course I’m ecstatic for them to begin new chapters of their lives, but I know it means I probably won’t be seeing them again. I even have to force myself to hope I don’t, because I want better for them and I don’t want them to end up back here. Earlier I mentioned what it would be like to hear 200 chimes at our graduations. It certainly makes me ponder. It makes me wish away addiction and all of the negative stuff that comes along with it. Then I pinch myself and I remember that’s not likely. So while I’m sad that that many children and families may need our services, I’m so thankful that programs like Serenity Place and the Academy do exist to provide the necessary treatment and support to make sure that the clients we serve will be sitting with their families next year giving thanks and celebrating traditions, or even making new ones.

So, a BIG thanks to all of our supporters who make this work possible! Happy Thanksgiving!

If you’d like to take a tour of the Academy or Serenity Place, or participate in an exciting graduation, please call 864-467-3944.

October 28, 2010

Cause + Effect

You've seen the shocking numbers, and now you want to know why.

Why can't 5,000 Greenville children live with their parents?

Why are 2,400 Greenville families torn apart by domestic assaults every year?

Why are 1,300 children in Greenville neglected or abused every year?

If you were asked who is your greatest support network, who ensured you got a good education, who provided for you, and who nurtured you and made you who you are today; chances are your answer would be your parents. That's how it is for most people. But for 5,000 children in Greenville, parents just aren't a part of their daily lives. These kids have been forced from their homes at an early age, to live with other relatives, in the foster care system, or in group facilities. Why? Well, our research tells us that addiction in the home is responsible for most of these collapsed families. Addicted parents can't parent, and the children are put at severe risk.

When we talk to non-profit and government professionals who are working on the front lines to glue these families back together, they tell us that 65-80% of Greenville's child neglect and abuse, domestic assault, and social services caseload is generated from homes where addiction is present The problem is a huge drain on resources, and unfortunately, the numbers haven't been improving.

Even after the bruises fade, children in our community are left with severe emotional and behavioral issues that affect their abilities to connect with and trust others, they are ill-prepared for the classroom and quickly fall behind, and they are more likely to become part of the pattern. Most adults who abuse their children were victims of abuse and children of addicts are four times more likely to become addicts themselves.

You can help break the cycle. Join The Family Effect in working to reduce addiction as a leading cause of family collapse and harm to children. We're working on this problem at its roots...in homes where children and addiction are present, but the family hasn't yet come apart. Your support can help us continue to provide outstanding services to those who need them most.

One of the easiest and most effective ways for you to help is to spread the word. Use the "share" tools to post this message to your Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn or other social network.

Thank you for your support.

October 14, 2010

Welcome!

You've landed at The Family Effect Blog; thanks for stopping by! Lots of interesting news and exciting volunteer stories coming soon, so don't be a stranger and visit us often.